Killing Loneliness
by babe201
Summary: Because she knew that any chance of them ever being together was now non-existent. Their brief past was the only thing that tied them together, and she now understands that he never really cared. As she catches herself fading yet again, she can't help but tell herself that she'll be okay. It's now another memory. SasuxSaku Rated M for Later Themes NO FLAMES
1. For the Very First Time

**A/N: The ages of the Rookie Nine have been modified to fit the plot of the story. They are all 35 (Gai's team being 36, Neji didn't die because I love him too much to let him go, sue me) and their teachers and mentors are seventeen years older as well! Please enjoy! Please know that I do not own the Naruto characters, they rightfully belong to Kishi.**

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**Chapter 1: For the Very First Time**

She smiled when he called her "the best aunt", as she was the first to be notified of his desire to wed the Uzumaki's daughter. She was beautiful, blessed with the beauty and radiance of her mother and with the spirit of her father. Both were seventeen of course, but it had come as an agreement between them both that not only did their love continue to grow fiercely , but it would be a great outcome as the Uchiha and the Hyuuga blood would finally combine and have an even greater outcome.

When his father discovered his son's intentions, of course he had been greatly pleased, after all, having this celebration was his idea. Of course she and the young man's father had grown distant, but she admired him to no end. He had shown he did, in fact, have a heart, it seemed that having to become a single father at a young age had its benefits. After his wife had been married to him at the early age of eighteen, already having a six month old son, she had left without a word and seemed to have disappeared from the village.

An absolute benefit had been that every single woman in Konoha had volunteered to become his son's new mother. He chose to raise him alone, and instead of actually being alone, he actually had his son by his side the whole time. Of course, after his wife had left him, he had grown even more stoic, with no bother of searching for his wife, meaning he had known what had been her reason for her sudden disappearance.

His eyes only seemed to harbor the peak of his emotions whenever his son was around. Then again, the Uchiha held a history of being unable to show large amounts of emotion anyway. And as she saw him, he had never looked so handsome, even with only the large amount of pride that seemed to glow off his body, he was never one to boast of anything, and he certainly would not start now. The crowd at the local shinobi bar surrounded both Uchiha men and the Uzumaki.

Only certain people had been invited by the proud fathers, but of course, the village had gotten around to the gossip and all wanted to be there to congratulate the Hokage and his loyal Uchiha brother. And there she was, all the way to the back of the room, where not even her distant friends could see her. She could have been another brick in the wall and she would have been treated no different.

Being the former Hokage's apprentice had meant that she had been well known, but as time passed, like the fame from an old actor, she had been washed out of the honorable names, now only being known by the title "medic." She was still one of the most powerful medics, being requested by many villages at a time, since she had grown so busy, she had little time to herself, so she was grateful that the Hokage was too busy being the center of attention rather than looking through all of the requests he had received for her assistance at the other villages.

With time passing, she seemed to become more distant from him and her friends.

Naruto no longer waited on her for anything, being too busy becoming the greatest Hokage and the world's best family man. She rarely saw any of her friends, as they had their own families, even as Kakashi had set out to be a husband, broken and damaged yet taped back together by no other than Shizune. He retired shortly after marrying her and had soon after discovered that she was pregnant with their first child. His only bets with Gai now consisted of who could outdo who when it came to playing the very important role of fatherhood.

Ino had become a beautiful woman and an elegant wife for Shikamaru. She had grown to be beautiful and mature, as did the rest of her old friends. And now they were there, with their sons and daughters at the wonderful and ripe ages of sixteen and seventeen, talking amongst each other as though they had always been one great happy family, and in a sense, they were.

When she saw the Uchiha's son walk over to her with a small smile, she couldn't help but grin in sincere happiness for him. When he wrapped his arms around her waist, she responded immediately by wrapping her own around his broad, powerful shoulders. Of course, he had to bend slightly, as she was too short to reach his neck.

"I'm so proud of you Itachi-kun," she said against his shoulder.

The fact that his father had decided to name his first born after his brother did not come as a surprise when he had first presented him. It seemed only fit to give him that name as it had been soiled with false accusations and wronged malice towards the previous man who had owned it.

"Thank you Sakura-chan, I honestly did not think you would show up."

"And miss my favorite nephew's celebration? Impossible, wouldn't you think so?"

Her trained eyes didn't miss the blonde and the raven heads coming her way, and she wouldn't avoid them if she could anyhow.

"Sakura-chan, you're back!" was the first thing she heard from the Hokage as he rushed past everyone to give her the bear hug that resulted in her looking as though every part of her except her head had been devoured by his robes.

She didn't even mind that her feet were not touching the ground, nor that there were new sets of eyes placed on the two, so she closed her eyes, and pretended it was just her and her brother, her arms wrapped passionately around his neck as he did not seem to want to let go of her petite waist.

"I missed you" she heard his muffle as he pressed his head to her short hair and inhaled as though her scent were the oxygen his lungs had been lacking for the longest time.

She kept her eyes closed and relished in his warmth for what seemed to be an eternity.

"_Ahem_" she suddenly heard a feminine clearing of a throat.

She slowly opened her green eyes to see an elegant and vibrant Ino grinning at her.

"Okay Naruto, you've been hogging her for hours, let go!" she shouted.

Naruto had absolutely refused to let his dear friends call him "Hokage-sama" or "Naruto-sama," being far too great of a person to think of himself any higher than his loyal friends who had had to endure the weight of the Fourth War alongside him. He did not release her but simply placed his cheek atop her head to continue to embrace her,

"Shut up Ino, not only am I her brother, I'm Hokage, I have benefits."

To this, Sakura laughed as her arms were now wrapped around his biceps rather than his neck as she was still pressed against him, inhaling his natural and calming scent. Only when the slight scent of ramen from his clothes reached her nostrils did it truly feel like she was home.

"Okay well she has to greet me and her nieces and nephews so stop being stingy!" Naruto reluctantly let her go after what felt like a solid ten minutes and crossed his arms and huffed. Sakura smiled and turned to Ino, who had already rushed to her to embrace her next.

"I'm so glad you're back in one piece." Sakura smiled at the rare concern Ino had shown at the moment.

Their embrace only lasted for a few minutes as everyone else had gone over to greet her. She knew she would be surrounded for the first week of her return by these wonderful people, but it was that brief week that would have her leaving for another three years, just to give them a reason to speak to her again. As she spoke to each and every one of her closest friends, they asked of where she had been and what new things she had learned of other places.

She kept her smile strong on her face as she sat with her friends surrounding her at the back of the booth in the bar, talking about the places she had been to, the people she had met on her travel, and the new things she had learned.

She expressed the wonderful discoveries and stories with her hands, fascinating and capturing the younger children that were allowed in the bar only for the occasion that the Hokage had wanted his WHOLE family to be there.

She knew that there had been one person who did not say a word to her, who did not embrace her as passionately as her brother did, who did not embrace her at all for that matter, but who had never taken his onyx eyes off of her and had been looking as though he wanted to say something to her but couldn't find the words.

As she continued to speak to everyone who was quiet around her, she looked at the faces of her family, as they all held the temporary look of welcoming and acceptance that she knew would fade, resulting in her becoming a blur to the village again. But it didn't matter, because for the briefest of moments in her life, she would have their undivided attention.

She would be the source of adventure that they all missed because they willingly gave up their S and A class missions that would result in traveling to the villages (which now seemed to have more peace than ever thanks to a certain knuckle head) to take care of their families and to create and mold the future generation of shinobi.

This would be the time where she was most radiant and presentable to everyone else because this was everything she looked forward to after years of being away from these wonderful people, the temporary spark in her heart igniting as though it were a sparkler, burning the stick that was currently lit until it left behind ashes of what had once been, having them fall in place along with the rest of the gigantic pile of ashes that were lying on the tiled floor in her heart.

But for just that moment, the spark had been ignited, and it rested atop the stick, unmoving, waiting until the days counted down to rule her out yet again. For that moment, it was just her and the wonderful people around her, too close to be called just friends, yet too far to be called her family.

And she was home.

**(PLEASE READ BELOW!)**

**Hi everyone! So this was a new idea that's been eating at my brain for some time now… a really really long time. You know how an author has a great idea for a story but then after a while it seems dull to them so they stop mid-type and delete it to wait for a new thought to come to mind? Well, that's what happens at every corner of my beginning projects, but strangely enough, this one really tugs on me and I just haven't been able to get it out of my head! Please let me know what you think and whether or not I should continue because I have been dying to take this story off paper to upload on here! I really want to develop this story and make it one of the ones I should finish. Then again, this is all up to you. (Chapters will be longer if continued) PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! I LOVE YOU ALL! NO FLAMES! THEY WILL BE REPORTED OR DELETED!**

**PS: I was listening to "For the Very First Time" by Museum while typing! Listen to it if you haven't already! I love love LOVE the lyrics and they are what helped me develop parts of the story. The story itself was first brought up in my head while listening to "Killing Loneliness" by HIM, the lyrics are really amazing and they took me the my dark corner to find the next project. -_-**

**IF YOU HAVE THE TIME, PLEASE GO TO THE NEXT CHAPTER FOR THE IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE, Thank you once again!**


	2. IMPORTANT AN!

**IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE!**

**I've been on winter break for some time now! XD Two weeks to be exact, it's been hell registering for next semester and preparing and what not but you'll be glad to know that I now consider myself officially on break and now you all have my attention! Sorry for not uploading my past stories but finals were killing me and I still had to prepare a couple presentations.**

**I'll be uploading shortly after and I'll be open to new ideas. As you can see, I have been obsessing with reading yet again and I have been attempting to fix my writing style. I've noticed before that it just seemed really plain and I really don't deserve as much recognition as I have at the moment, really, so thank you all so much for the support and know that every review is read and taken to heart.**

**Really, you are all wonderful people with great imagination and I truly value reading other people's stories and just enjoying something well developed and worth reading. Sadly, it's really depressing to say but I've noticed most of the communities lacking in uploads and it tears at my heart a bit because I have no idea if authors have just decided to stop uploading or if it's because everyone is realizing that the anime/manga is nearing its end. Anyways, I know it's never been seen in any of my stories that I have a separate author's note but this will only be on this story until I decide whether or not to continue with this story… which will be mostly based on you guys and the feedback on it.**

**As you all know I have quite a few stories that have yet to be uploaded but I will be happy to report that "I Miss You Holding Me" and "Like A Boy" are current priorities to uploading as often as I can, HOWEVER, I do want to hear your opinions (that are NOT NOT NOT flames based on a plot or my childhood grammar) on which other stories you would like for me to continue and overall let me know what you think! FLAMES ARE STILL NOT ACCEPTED AND WILL BE REPORTED OR DELETED BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE MEANING OF "CRITIQUE" AND DO NOT EVALUATE THE STORY AND PLOT BEHIND IT BUT RATHER, "THE THINGS THAT REALLY GRIND THEIR GEARS" ABOUT THE STORY.**

**Anyways, please let me know if you enjoy this current project and if I should continue with it as well! I love all of my supporters, I really don't deserve the wonderful people and authors following me so thank you so much! I know some people don't take it to heart and say "eh, how tacky" or "hey, this isn't the Oscars you know" but it's all you people that have made it a wonderful experience to be an author here and having the support that I have, I really couldn't be more grateful. You guys were there cheering on my stories when I was stressed, depressed, or just on a huge writer's block and I really do thank you all for your patience and understanding. Thank you SO SO SO SO SO MUCH! XD**


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